


Crockerpot

by SkilledWarriorKiwi



Series: Tumblr Prompts [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society, Awkward Kissing, Awkwardness, Calliope ships Gamjane, Carnival, Circus, Didn't Know They Were On A Date, F/M, Fluff, Gamzee needs a hug, Hand Feeding, Pesterlog, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Self Confidence Issues, Shy Gamzee, Social Anxiety, Socially Awkward Gamzee, The Other Trolls Are Assholes, Troll Culture, Trolls on Earth, carnivals, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-13 10:13:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4517964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkilledWarriorKiwi/pseuds/SkilledWarriorKiwi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the tumblr prompt by acekankrivantas;</p>
<p>  <i>"Jane takes Gamzee to a human carnival."</i></p>
<p>Which is exactly what happens, but with a bit more fluff and unnecessary angst added to the mix. Also Calliope is the best daughter a teenage alien clown juggalo could ask for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crockerpot

uranianUmbra [UU] has begun Cheering gutsyGumshoe [GG]  
  
UU: hello lovely! ^u^  
GG: Hi, Calliope! :)  
GG: I hope you've been settling in well enough?  
UU: oh indeed i have! jade has been a wonderfUl help and she's even been aiding me in the creation of my new backyard garden.  
UU: i mUst admit, after all those sweeps spent on that desolate dead rock and minUscUle barren room it is quite a joy to interact with flora- even if i don't particUlarly have a shine for it like jade does despite my literal green thUmbs u_u  
UU: bUt we've planted a variety of sproUts and flowers and already their smell is jUst heavenly!   
UU: i've made sUre to water them each day and i've been reading up more aboUt them and their care- i'm looking forward to seeing them all bloom again dUring the hot sweeps! or sUmmer, i believe yoU hUmans call it.  
GG: Well I'm glad you've found another hobby- I myself have been contemplating trying my hand with gardening to tell the truth; however the whole Sburb thing put that on the back burner! Far to much death and grievous injury to worry about than planting saplings.  
UU: yes u3u  
UU: being able to leave my hive is wonderfUl even if i'm still not qUite comfortable leaving for extended periods of time jUst yet.  
GG: It's quite alright Callie- none of us are expecting you to be so used to everyone's company just a few months after the end of the Game. I'm just proud of you for being able to deal with all of us after having so many years of isolation; all of us are.  
GG: Dirk and Roxy especially, since they know exactly how you feel since they went through the same thing at the start of Sburb. It was awkward and they were unconformable and constantly out of their depth but they adapted- so shall you. :)  
UU: i certainly hope so u~u  
UU: as mUch as i enjoy my solitary i woUld very mUch like to see the strange new world we now live in- especially considering it's sUch a wonderoUs mix-mash of troll and hUman cultUre now! i've nearly sent myself into vapoUrs reading aboUt it online!   
GG: Ho ho ho! Well I can assure you it makes ordering things from restaurants quite interesting. Trolls are very strange with their recipes.  
GG: Oo, actually that reminds me!  
UU: what?  
GG: I've procured some tickets to go to the carnival tomorrow! They came into town a few days ago and set up shop down by the docks- I've asked Dirk, Roxy and Jake but they're all busy. :/  
GG: Even my grandsom/father is working on things! I swear, they had nothing planned for weeks and the instant I have an idea for a fun day on the town everyone has a smorgasbord of things to attend to!  
GG: I even entertained the idea of asking the trolls but I don't know any of them- and frankly, from their murderous stories I've heard about them I'm not sure I want to.  
GG: So mayhaps you would like to come with me?  
UU: i  
UU: i appreciate you asking but i'm not qUite sUre i'm ready for that level of social exposUre. u_u  
UU: even when we had that small get together on friday i began to get oUt of shorts and feeling as if i was trapped in a slowly-collapsing cage while becoming short of breath and that was simply with yoU all, people whom i've known for years.  
UU: so while i deeply appreciate the gestUre jane, i jUst don't think i'm ready for that level of social interaction.   
UU: at least not yet. u_u  
UU: my apologies.  
GG: There is no need to apologize, Calliope- I completely understand.  
GG: It's unfair of me to ask so much of you until you're ready.  
GG: But friends or no, I am going to this carnival and glutting myself on cotton candy. :B  
GG: I haven't been to a carnival since before the Game and I would really rather put that horrendous experience out of my mind.  
UU: oh!  
UU: oh oh oh!   
GG: What's wrong?  
GG: Do you want me to bring back some cotton candy for you to try?  
UU: not that- well i woUld be disinclined to try some bUt i was strUck by a different idea!  
UU: well i dearly hope this doesn't come across as overly blUnt bUt woUld yoU perhaps entertain the idea of perhaps taking gamzee with yoU?  
GG: ...  
GG: Gamzee?  
UU: yes, you remember him sUrely?  
UU: jade calls his my adoptive father which i sUppose he is! ^u^  
UU: and yoU know how he and i are living in the same hive- he's been taking sUch good care of me!  
UU: when he caUtiously emerges from his room at least u_u  
GG: Erm.  
GG: Well, the thing is Calliope I don't exactly know him, at all.  
GG: And from the things the other trolls and Rose and Dave had told me about him...  
UU: they can all take their fearmongering lies and stUff it!  
GG: Callie!  
UU: no, i've had enoUgh of this strange vindictive hate everyone has towards him!  
UU: i have had to pUt up with these trolls and those two humans invading my hive at differing times and blatantly lying to my face aboUt him and attempting to enact violence against him for no reason and i have qUite frankly had enough of it!  
UU: i don't care aboUt what they're said to yoU, but it is all fabrication!  
UU: ever since the end of the Game and my fUsion with my godtier doomed self i have become completely aware of the nexUs of my being and state of existence, inclUding all the time i spent within that meteor and those sweeps of my wigglerhood and i know with absolUte certainty gamzee is not violent- he was the one who raised me and the only one who ever loved me for more sweeps than i care to recall!   
UU: i have already bodily hUrled one of those trolls from my hive when their slanderous lies aboUt my father became too mUch and i will not tolerate even more of them!  
UU: even if they are coming from a dear friend.  
UU: ESPECIALLY then.  
GG: I um.  
GG: I'm sorry, Calliope. I spoke out of turn.  
GG:   
UU: Ugh it's not yoU.  
UU: it's everyone else and their attitUde which is making me fairly cantankeroUs.  
UU: however that is why i think it woUld be good for gamzee to leave the hive and socialize a bit with others- at the moment all he does is stay in his room and sleep for nearly twenty hoUrs per day.  
UU: and the last foUr is either him painting with me or me having to make him eat something u_u  
UU: i know highblood trolls have a fairly slow metabolism bUt it still concerns me.  
GG: Calliope, you should have mentioned something.  
UU: i tried to!  
UU: at first i thoUght those other trolls woUld help bUt all they seemed interested in was abUsing him fUrther or trying to outright caUse him harm.  
UU: it got to the point i had to bodily hUrl one of them from my hive and threatened to shoot her if she ever came near him again.  
UU: i lost my brother to the game- he was no real great loss bUt it happened all the same and i still miss him irregardless of how dangeroUs and crUel he was.  
UU: i completely refUse to loose someone who genUinely cared for me the instant i was born simply dUe to vindictive slander and petty hate from people i don't care for.  
GG: Oh Callie.  
GG: I had no idea it was this bad- if I knew I would've made the effort to know him more as you are correct; if he does care for you that much is clearly is far more than the boogeyman those elaborate stories seem to harp on about.  
GG: So yes, if it'll be fine with him I'll take him with me to the carnival- since he's apparently a clown as well?  
UU: thank yoU, lovely! ^u^  
UU: i deeply appreciate this jane and don't you worry- i'll clean him up in time for tomorrow!  
UU: and yes, he's a clown. a 'sUbjUgglator' i believe troll clowns are called! so i do believe he will have quite a fUn time at the carnival with yoU and it will do him some good to be oUtside i imagine.  
GG: Well at least I'll know he'll be vaguely interested in the carnival if that's the case. :B  
GG: So I'll come by tomorrow and fetch him at ten?  
UU: that'd be wonderfUl!  
UU: thanks again, i think this will be very good for him.  
GG: See you then. :)  
UU: now if yoU dont mind i shall go and inform my gUardian of the good news!  
  
uranianUmbra [UU] has ceased Cheering gutsyGumshoe [GG]  
  
GG: Ah yes...alright then.  
  
gutsygumshoe [GG] has logged off!

Carefully Jane leaned back on her chair, drumming her fingers on the smooth surface of the computer desk. That _really_ wasn't how she saw the conversation heading, what with her now having a play-date with Calliope's teenage alien clown adoptive father instead of a fun day spent with people she actually knew. Gods, what had she gotten herself into?

_Irregardless, I gave Calliope my word,_ Jane thought as she got up, stretching out her arms as she did so, _If Calliope loves him, he can't be that terrible a person...I think...Well she did still care for her brother, but even so..._ Still unsure and more than a bit apprehensive, Jane left her room and trotted down the stairs before she made a beeline for the kitchen. It was around dinner time anyway and the previous conversation left her feeling out of sorts; food would see to that and hopefully settle her churning stomach.

As she started to make herself a light dinner of pancakes she eventually fell into the easy rhythm of baking and her mind wandered back to the previous conversation with Calliope and she gave a small wince; admittedly she'd done a fairly terrible job of keeping track of her friends after the conclusion of the Game. Jane just wanted to be alone for a while, usually having to be coerced out of the house by Roxy or John. As it was, Jane had been fine with spending weeks holed up in her home on her own, just speaking to her friends through Betty Bother and Skype. Jane figured it was her own way of coping with Sburb, hiding herself away from everything.

It was cowardly and childish some may say but frankly Jane couldn't care less. The months being trapped inside Sburb were some of the most awful moments of her life; even becoming a so-called God did nothing to endear her to the terrible experience of death and all-around horribleness and Jane just wanted to put the entire bloody mess behind her. She was alive and so were her friends and that was good enough for her.

True, it took a while to integrate back into 'normal' society, especially when it became apparent that after the Game they learned Earth and Alternia had been restored and the current Empress was known as Her Imperious Lumination, a ethereal peaceful troll queen who was in an alliance with the Earth governments. It was if the Alternia Empire was restored but worked on a weird mash-up of Beforus morals, or so Rose told her. Jane never got to meet those Dancestor trolls and for some reason they were not brought back to life, however the twelve troll players John, Rose, Jade and Dave originally met were all restored back to life.

She knew from Rose's remarks that the tyrian of that group, a fuchsia named Feferi was now the Heiress apparent to the Empire as the old Empress was steadily succumbing to old age and Feferi now lived on her home planet being groomed for the throne. It had been jarring for those trolls to suddenly come to terms with the fact the Empire was still alive yet it was kinder than the old one ever was.

Jane wasn't really sure what to think of it but she was glad that the murderous tyrians, the Condesce and her younger self, had died within the Game. Served those murderers right, she had thought, and she'd seen enough videos of the strange Empress to know she had strong ties with the Earth leaders and seemed to have great affection to the human race; it was apparently due to her efforts and the two species cooperation that humanity already had space flight and trolls were integrated into human society.

It was bizarre and strange to be restored on an Earth where humans and trolls lived harmoniously and from the records it had been that way for decades. Jane was confused and out of sorts but Dirk and Roxy more so; those two had lived a troll-ruled human society and it ruled in the extinction of the human race. Thank goodness they got a non-genocidal Empress ruling the Empire this time around.

Jane spooned portions of the pancake batter into the hot pan, still dwelling upon the strange integrated society they'd be restored in. It had taken a bit to adapt and Jane had been confused when her house had been returned to it's original neighbourhood except now one of her neighbours was a forty-year-old Swedish lady with a ridiculous amount of canaries and her other neighbour was a lanky blueblooded troll who took his woolly ant-sheep hybrid pet-thing out for a walk every day at two in the morning. She wasn't too sure which one of them was the one who regularly blasted Queen at night, however. Not that she minded that much; she was just glad she was around people again. As much as she loved Roxy, Jake and Dirk it was easy to become frustrated with being only in their company for months on end like they had within Sburb.

Humming under her breath, Jane worked the spatula underneath the bubbling pancake batter and flipped it over. Moving easily she did the same to the other four wonky circles, the pan hissing and spitting slightly at her.

All in all, it was a strange world they had been restored in but Jane wasn't complaining. It was like a weird happy ending- even if a few, such as the Dancestors and Guardians, never got to witness it. Frowning, Jane left the pan briefly to pull a plate out from the cupboards; that was another odd thing, out of all the Guardians Jane's father was the only one who was brought back. Rose speculated it was because he had been the last Guardian alive after the conclusion of Sburb but Jane sometimes couldn't help but feel guilty she was the only one who got her family member back, despite everyone's claims they weren't bitter. Disappointed, yes, but not resentful towards her.

It might have helped that her father all but adopted all of her friends anyway, treating them with the same strong fatherly affection he exhibited towards Jane, which the Maid couldn't help but be grateful for. He also now lived just across the street from Jane, while John lived at the end of the block while Jake and Jade were back on their island. However due the trolls giving humans their teleportation technology all if took was a few seconds and they could easily visit the Witch and Page.

Jane carefully slid the finished pancakes onto the plate, not bothering to clean up as she left to the living room. Her house felt more empty now that her father didn't live with her but Jane appreciated the space and acknowledgement he was just across the road. She'd had a few nightmares in the months after the Game where she'd gone to visit him only to find him missing or dead. At least he was understanding of her concern and paranoia, never once expression irritation when she visited or rang him at three in the morning to make sure he was alright.

Neatly cutting up one of the pancakes she speared a small piece with her fork, chewing on it as she cast her thoughts back to the conversation she'd had with Calliope and her agreement to take Calliope's adoptive father with her to the carnival tomorrow. She'd never met Gamzee in person before and she heard numerous horror stories about him but Calliope clearly loved him. Jane could understand the Cherub's knee-jerk defensiveness and adoration towards the clown- the only other person Calliope had known for so long had been her horrible little beast of a brother, who left a lot to be desired in terms of companionship. Little wonder she loved Gamzee so much, if he had been her only memory of being loved for so long and apparently inspired her into dressing up as a troll in the first place.

Jane swallowed down another piece of her meal, glancing out the window; the sun was setting and the beginning dusk was casting long shadows along the floor and walls. At least with Spring it didn't get dark right away but she figured she should get a sound sleep in preparation for tomorrow. She doubted it was going to be an easy trouble-free trip to the carnival. Quickly finishing off the rest of her pancakes Jane left back the kitchen, filling up the dishwasher and cleaning out the now-cooled pan before scrubbing it dry

By then night had fully fallen and Jane finished cleaning up the bench before leaving for her bedroom, unease and apprehension churning in her gut as she made her way up the stairs. She was no Seer so she had no idea how tomorrow would turn out; hopefully it would be bearable to some extent.

_Calliope loves him; that is reason enough to try._

Mind made up, Jane crawled into bed and fell into a restless sleep.

 

* * *

 

Jane woke up abruptly at 8 o'clock. It was with complete clarity she opened her eyes, blinking at the clock on the bedside table. With an annoyed grunt she squirmed around but after nearly half an hour of rolling and irritation she finally got out of the warm confines of her bed. Rummaging through her drawers she pulled out some clean clothes before leaving to the bathroom and starting up the shower. As she scrubbed herself down she tried to ease down her nervousness; it was less about the whole horror-story rumour mill surrounding Calliope's adoptive teenage father and more about the fact she was going to be spending the day with a stranger. Admittedly a stranger who was a clown and Jane had a fondness for clowns. But still, he was a stranger to her and Jane wasn't exactly good at making friends right off the bat with people. At least in SBurb they all seemed related to each other, so there was that link. With Gamzee she only knew him through his connection to Calliope.

Well, at least she could awkwardly branch out on that topic- _"So how did you deal with being a teenage dad to a green alien with split personalities, one of which turned into an eater of realities?"_

She snorted, tipping her face up into the hot spray of water and scrubbing at her short hair. She had to give Gamzee his credit, to be able to raise two children like Calliope and Caliborn whereas she couldn't even handle sitting around for six months without screaming fits and killing a few of her friends in a brainwashed fury.

Mood soured, Jane switched off the shower and stepped out, wet feet sinking into the fluffy floor towel. As she dried herself off she tried to run through a mental list of what she could do with Gamzee however when it came down to it the whole thing really depended on how much interest he'd take in everything. While the trolls she had encounter in the strange new integrated society seemed alright- she had a friendly rapport with the cheerful mustardblood cashier down at the local bakery and the cobaltblood who randomly trimmed her hedges was nice enough -but Gamzee was a complete wild card and not just because he was a Bard.

Jane finished toweling off her hair and got dressed; she knew she would spend a lot of the day walking so she chose a pair of comfy jeans and well broken in sneakers. Her top was a periwinkle blue shirt made from ruffled fabric and Jane switched her black-rimmed glasses for the blue.

Without fanfare she spent the next twenty minutes eating a light breakfast and blowdrying her wet hair. By then it was around fifteen past nine and Jane checked herself over and double checked her sylladex and strife deck. Never hurt to be prepared and Jane never left the house anymore without having her weapons close at hand.

It took only another fifteen minutes for her to walk down the street to the teleportation hub- yet another odd thing that were a norm in this restored planet. It made traffic a lot less intense and traveling far easier bit it still took her a while to get used to a Game norm being used so freely. The hub was already busy when she arrived, with the majority of people up and about being humans. There were a few trolls, looking uncomfortable and squinting in the sunlight streaming through the massive windows, but otherwise it was a mess of busy humans.

Jane spent a few moments gazing around in curiosity- this whole hybrid society was still so strange and new to her - before stepping over to the nearest free teleportation pad. She really needed to buy one and just stick it in her house. At least the Game made them stinking rich. Pushing that from her mind, Jane typed in the long code into the small computer next to the pad, the keys clicking. After a few moments a blue light appeared on the screen, blinking slowly as the machine waited for acceptance from Calliope's end. As she waited she nervously tugged on one of the short sleeves of her shirt, feeling anxious and more than a bit wary. What if everything _did_ go wrong? Then again, Jane had a lot of practice in dealing with things that went to smash and she doubted Gamzee would be as much trouble as brainwashing candy and/or tiaras.

The blue light switched over to green with a small _ding!_ and the pad started to hum as it powered up. With pause Jane stepped up onto the pad and with a swirl of sparks she vanished, only to reappear instantly in the dark confinements of Calliope's basement. Jane blinked a few times, caught off guard by the sudden switch of dark and light before she caught sight of a familiar pair of glowing green eyes a few feet before her.

Jane smiled, automatically reaching out with her hands and grasping Calliope's forearms as she stepped off the pad; she knew by now Calliope wasn't comfortable with hugs but was fine with careful touching. Calliope meanwhile carefully held Jane's arms, long lethal claws lightly digging into the Maid's exposed skin as she returned the smile with a mouthful of fangs.

The Cherub's green skin didn't feel like flesh or scales, instead it was incredibly dense as if her entire body had been carved from unyielding marble and made mobile. Calliope's fingers dug slightly into Jane's skin and she immediately released Calliope's arms, accepting the Cherub's non-verbal request.

"How have you been?" Jane automatically asked, before inwardly cringing at the awkward question. At least Calliope didn't have a lot of social graces to judge Jane on.

The Cherub's smile widened, a sight both adorable and grotesque, and she took a brief step back from Jane, her clawed feet clicking on the concert floor, "I've been fine," she replied, her voice shifting and multi-layered as usual, "I've been spending most of my morning trying to fix up that mess that is Gamzee- I'm quite sure he's never brushed that wild mess of hair of his before and it's been quite the sojourn attempting to tame it."

"So he's fine coming with me?"

"Of course, my dear! He's a mite apprehensive about leaving his little lair obviously," Calliope said, leading Jane out of the basement, "but he seems quite eager to see a human carnival- I think he's rather curious as to how different they are from the ones he is familiar with."

Jane made a low noise of agreement in the back of her throat as she followed Calliope up the steps and into the Cherub's dimly lit lounge. The decor was a slight shade of too drab and eerie for her, but she held her tongue as usual.

"I'm sorry about coming over a bit earlier than the time we discussed," Jane suddenly spoke up, "but I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep for the life of me."

"No harm done, darling. Gamzee, despite his rather gluttonous sleeping habits, is rather easy to awaken and he's been up and about for a while now- I made sure to keep him well groomed for his adventure with you."

"That's, um, nice. Hopefully it wasn't too much of an inconvenience..." Jane trailed off as the Cherub looked at her with glowing green eyes, her skull-like face twisted down into a frown.

With a sigh Calliope stepped towards Jane, clawed hands held up against her chest anxiously, "I appreciate what you're doing, Jane. I'm not oblivious to the blatant distaste everyone has towards my guardian and I'm grateful you're willing to try and get to know him. I would certainly love for him to gain more friends...at least ones who won't harm him or turn on him in an instant," the last part ended in a vicious hiss, her face twisting into an ugly, venomous expression which made a primitive part of Jane's mind extremely nervous.

Clearly her throat, Jane said quietly, "I'm not going to do anything to harm Gamzee- and I'm sorry, I never knew it was this bad or I would have done...something."

Calliope just gave her a stern look as if she didn't believe what Jane was saying and the Maid was forced to look away, feeling shame roll about in her gut like acid. It was a few minutes of awkward silence before a muffled _thud_ came from upstairs. Calliope clacked her long teeth together before saying, "I'll go fetch Gamzee; that's probably him just falling off his unicycle again, the silly dear."

With that she turned and walked up the stairs, moving with an eerie serpentine grace. Still feeling uncomfortable Jane crossed her arms, buck teeth biting into her lower lip as she pondered over the Cherub's expression and what could potentially happen.

She was torn from her musings at the sound of footsteps, one light and swift the other heavy and loud as Calliope reappeared with her guardian. Jane blinked, rather taken aback at how tall the troll was. It wasn't just his overall, gangly height but the long goat-like horns spiraling from the wild birds nest that was his hair. She'd never really spoken to the trolls Rose and Dave seemed friendly with- frankly she didn't really want to.

Pushing that from her mind Jane dropped her arms and smiled at Gamzee, "Hello, I'm Jane. You must be Gamzee."

She forced herself to remain still as the troll perked up and Jane noticed with some surprise his face was completely covered in white and light grey paint. That didn't really do anything to distract from the wide row of fangs he displayed as he grinned back at her, his yellow eyes still half lidded. He was a _clown._ She hadn't expected him to take that part literally, however.

Jane also did not expect Gamzee to step right into her personal space, spindly arms wrapping around her back and lifting her right off the ground as the troll enveloped her in a hug. Caught off guard, she instinctively grabbed onto his bony shoulders as the troll swayed back and forth, easily hoisting her off the floor. Jane let out a muffled grunt as Gamzee squeezed the breath out of her, her face squashed up against his collarbone. She felt him say something, a deep rumble in his chest but she couldn't make out the words. She did, however, hear Calliope suddenly speak up.

"Love? What have I been teaching you about boundaries?"

The arms gripping her squeezed her again before releasing her and Jane stumbled backwards a few steps, trying to suck in a breath. Gamzee flashed her an apologetic smile, showing far too much grey gum and fang, before saying, "Sorry sis, just tryin' to be all friendly."

"It's alright, I was just surprised," Jane managed to stammer out, feeling out of sorts and off kilter.

Calliope made a low noise in the back of her throat before turning back to her guardian and saying something to Gamzee in trollish- Jane brushed down her ruffled shirt, politely averting her eyes from the two as they began to talk in quiet tones. The Maid had no idea what they were saying, as she wasn't fluent in trollish unlike the Striders or Lalondes even if they weren't able to mimic the harsh clicking language due to the limitations of the human vocal cords.

Jane watched them discretely, trying not to stare too blatantly as Calliope plucked at the sleeve of Gamzee's black shirt with one hand and rubbed the grey skin of his forearm with the other.

_Calliope is certainly far more...touchy with Gamzee than she is with anyone else,_ Jane mused, watching as the Cherub fixed the lop-sided collar of Gamzee's shirt and brushing off his shoulders, still talking to him in low, soothing tones. Usually Calliope would only tolerate brief touches on her arms or hands, or even a causal shoulder nudge; other than that she preferred people not to touch her. Now however, she was easily fixing up Gamzee and seemed unperturbed as he patted her skull-like head a few times and playfully tugged on one of her protruding cheekbones.

At that Calliope swatted at his hand before circling around him and giving him a light push at the small of his back and glancing at Jane, saying in English, "Well I believe it's time you two began your wonderful sojourn into the outside world? After all, it seems fit to be a fine day."

Jane gave a short nod as she followed the two, with Calliope guiding Gamzee back towards the basement, "Don't worry Calliope, I'll make sure he's completely fine and will bring his back bright-eyed and bushy tailed."

The Cherub glanced back at that, her sunken face unreadable and Jane gave her what she hoped was a reassuring smile. Still looking troubled Calliope lead them back to the basement and switched on the teleporter, fixing the collar of her forest-green suit nervously as Gamzee trotted onto the pad without preamble. After a brief moment of hesitation, Jane joined him.

"Now you be safe," Calliope murmured to Gamzee, to which the troll just laughed and reached over to pat her head again, seemingly unconcerned.

"Ain't nothing to worry your lil' bony thinkpan over, you just stay here and get your art back on from where you left off," Gamzee said brightly, rolling back lightly on the balls of his feet. Jane twitched next to him, still unsure what to make of him.

Calliope frowned but nonetheless tapped in the code to the machine and said shortly "Please take care him," to Jane before the teleporter whisked them both away in a blue flash.

 

* * *

Jane blinked, suddenly finding herself back at the teleportation hub. Next to her Gamzee let out a small _honk_ before he pivoted in place and smiled at her, his pointed ears perking up.

"So what's the plan, invetersister?"

Jane tore her gaze away from the bustling crowd and glanced up at Gamzee, "Didn't Calliope tell you?"

The troll blinked, his half-lidded eyes becoming unfocused as if he was dozing off. Jane watched him carefully for a few moments before reaching up and snapping her fingers in front of his face and asking "Hello?" 

"Huh? Oh yeah, the lil' sweet gremlinsis said you're taking some time to go hang at the carnival and draggin' me along with it," he gave her another lop-sided grin.

"...That's the plan, yes. It's only a ten minute walk from here if you're alright with that," Jane replied, keeping her voice even. She had no idea how to behave around Gamzee. Keeping it polite seemed to be the way to go.

"Alright, lead on then sis."

After a few moments of awkward staring- Gamzee seemed to have zoned out again -Jane stepped off the teleportation pad. She had to gently tug on Gamzee's arm to get him to move and he followed her at a slow plodding walk. In the ten minutes between the teleportation hub and the carnival Jane tried to keep up a friendly conversation; after all she'd promised Calliope she'd try to get along with Gamzee and she couldn't really do that if she was ignoring the troll.

As they walked it became increasing obvious Gamzee wasn't the murderous, sadist monster she'd heard stories about; he was weird and zoned out a lot, not to mention scaring himself by standing on a plastic bag at one point but he wasn't hostile. Jane watched him carefully all the same, even as she asked him about how he day was. His lingo was difficult at first for her to decipher but not impossible; growing up with Jake and his heavy-handed and convoluted manner of speaking meant she was quite used to dealing with strange mannerism within speech.

Jane still couldn't help but feel skittish around him. However that was moreso due to the fact he was an alien with long claws, teeth and horns like a demon along with all the horror stories she heard from Dirk and Roxy about the Condesce's brutality. At least the current Empress was kind and seemed to be all gung-ho for peace. She tried asking Gamzee about his opinion on the new Empress but it turned out he didn't even know who the original Empress from his timeline even was and he seemed unaware there was a new one. Trying to ask him about his own culture seemed like a dead end as well, as it became rather obvious Gamzee didn't know the first thing about his own culture.

He also seemed less bothered by the sun than other trolls, even if he constantly looked like he was about to fall asleep with his eyes half-lidded all the time. There were a few trolls they passed as the two wandered down the long road stretching around the hill towards the docks where the carnival was, but all of them seemed to avoid looking at Gamzee directly, as if they were afraid he'd take offense to them even looking at him. Gamzee didn't seem to notice this, seemingly fascinated by basic things such as a nearby tree or a bus stop, to which she usually had to take him by the elbow and lead him on.

He was also _funny_ Jane soon learned; he was funny, lax and friendly. Admittedly rather lacking in social graces and having the attention span of a goldfish but he was nice and Jane felt herself slowly relaxing. It was completely at odds with the mental image she'd built up of him from all the rumours and lectures heaped upon which created the impression of some leering sadist, not some socially awkward clown. No wonder Calliope was so protective of him and resentful of everyone else.

Her thoughts were broken off as they reached the carnival which was already quite crowded. Jane was unperturbed, leading Gamzee towards the entrance and grabbing the tickets from her sylladex. She wasn't blind to the curious looks the man at the entrance gave Gamzee as he checked over the tickets before stamping the backs of their hands; Jane also didn't miss how the other human hesitated in touching Gamzee, who seemed oblivious to the man's caution, instead admiring the stamp on his grey skin with obvious fascination to the point Jane had to grab his elbow once again and lead him inside the carnival.

Gamzee stared at everything with abject interest, seemingly enthralled with anything he came across. 

"...You've never been to a carnival before, have you?" she asked as he stopped in front of a cotton candy vendor, completely entranced by the woman creating one of the pink-hued treats.

"Huh?" he continued to stare at the candy as the woman swirled the stick through the machine, wrapping the cotton up into a thick pink puff, "I dunno, heard all the noise about the bloody miracles created within the carnivals of my motherfuckin' kind within the Church, ain't seeing how you star monkeys do it."

Jane nodded, sidling up against Gamzee's side as he continued to watch the cotton candy until the vendor tugged the stick out of the machine, a thick cloud of pink encasing one end. Gamzee leaned forward, sniffing loudly as he examined the cotton candy as if it was some strange alien creature.

"Would you like to buy it?" the vendor asked, a soft lilt to her words. Gamzee just blinked slowly at her, as if he didn't understand the question.

With a huff Jane ejected her wallet from her sylladex, saying, "Yes I would." She figured the first step to introducing the troll to human carnivals was to have him eat cotton candy; at least that seemed harmless enough.

Without fanfare they exchanged money and Jane put her wallet away as she received the cotton candy, giving a huff as some of it caught on the side of her glasses as she took a bite; she hadn't eaten cotton candy in years and it was strangely nostalgic. 

"Here, how about you try some," she said, offering up the fluffy food to Gamzee.

The troll squinted at it, seemingly cautious before he leaned forward. His nose was twitching and she could hear his loud sniffing so Jane hoisted it closer to his face. She was expecting him to take a small bite; what she _didn't_ expect was for him to suddenly open his jaws to a frightening degree, showing a thicket of long fangs, grey gums and tongue before snapping forward, engulfing the entire ball of cotton candy and biting down. With a strangled squeak Jane let go of the stick as he leaned back, cheeks bulging before he swallowed thickly as the candy floss vanished down his gullet, stick and all.

Jane stared as Gamzee gulped a few more times before he flashed a smile, teeth lightly stained pink as he said, "Like eatin' some motherfuckin' floofy clouds, sis."

The Maid just stared at him, still caught off guard by him managing to eat the entire thing in one bite. She had no idea trolls even could stretch their mouths open that wide; it was like he had unhinged his jaw like a snake or something. He just _ate_ the whole thing.

"Erm..." the vendor suddenly spoke into the awkward silence, "Would you like another one?"

"No thank you," Jane said, still rather shaken up, "Come along Gamzee," she turned and walked a few steps before stifling a groan as she glanced back; yes, he was still entranced with the machine even as the vendor looked more and more uncomfortable under his scrutiny. With a huff she spun on her heel and marched back before reaching out and, in a quick movement, linked her fingers through Gamzee's. The troll tensed, his bony fingers clenching around her hand, before he relaxed and allowed her to lead him away with protest.

"You weren't supposed to just eat it like that," Jane said, flustered, "Did you even taste any of it?"

"Huh? It tasted just fine, all light and motherfuckin' scratchy," Gamzee replied, looking completely at ease.

"Yes but you weren't just supposed to hork it down- you know what, never mind."

Needless to say, Gamzee continued to exhibit the fact he seemed to have no concept of social graces throughout the day. This ranged from fairly harmless things like seemingly having zero knowledge of personal space, bumping into her constantly and even draping himself over her back when they watched the performing ponies and letting out a loud _honk_ of alarm when he accidentally brushed up against a giant jack-in-the-box and scared himself when it popped out to eating an entire wheel of cheese which it turned out trolls did not fare well with. Jane then spent half an hour holding his wild hair back out of his face while he threw up in the nearby toilets noisily. The Maid was used to helping someone after puking sessions however, due to some practice with the Lalondes, so she spent the time keeping his hair free of vomit while rubbing his back with the other hand. Once his stomach was empty she gave him a cup of water and he seemed perfectly fine afterwards, if not a bit woozy. Jane assumed it was due to how hardy trolls were, but she made him promise not to eat anymore cheese that day to which he immediately agreed, claiming it "got it's ornery on up in there something fierce."

After that they went to the petting zoo, a place where the non-mutated animals were kept. Jane liked the rabbits, small and fluffy that they were however Gamzee accidentally terrified all the animals in the zoo expect for the goats which, oddly enough, seemed to completely love him and broke out of their enclosure to mob him and it took the handlers nearly half and hour to herd them back up because of how insistent they were on circling him. Gamzee seemed extremely thrilled with his new friends and it took Jane a lot of coaxing to finally drag him away.

Jane wasn't particularly embarrassed, used to the rather weird mannerisms of her friends. At least he didn't have a habit of yelling most of his dialogue like Jake or glaring death at people who got too close to him like Dirk, Gamzee was simply _odd_ yet in a harmless way. Certainly not some weird mass murderer then again Jane would be a hypocrite if she lectured him over that.

They did wind up going on the Ferris wheel and Gamzee nearly broke her hand he was gripping it so tightly, however it seemed more like he was in absolute awe over the landscape more than anything, vibrating in his seat and nearly falling out at one heart-stopping moment when they reached the top but Jane kept him anchored down with their hand holding. He was so enthusiastic about new things Jane couldn't help but laugh at the small things he did, as if he truely didn't know what a shooting range was and how "how did those balloons keep on floating all about as if they got wings, some motherfucking miracles, sis."

It didn't miss Jane's attention that the few trolls who were at the carnival seemed to avoid Gamzee, or at least avoid outright looking/talking to him. Jane wondered if it was one of the odd hemospecutrum customs of trolls at work, since Gamzee was by all accounts a 'highblood' or something along those lines since all the ones who started acting flighty around him were below him in the caste. Gamzee didn't seem to notice or even care, either too interested in the carnival or busy spacing off.

As she expected Gamzee was extremely delighted by the clowns wandering out, even though they were humans. Jane herself was quite impressed when one of the clowns gave Gamzee her juggling clubs and the two ended up juggling them back and forth from each other. She couldn't help but laugh at how _happy_ he looked, all wide goofy smile and wiggling ears as he fell into the rhythm of the club tossing. It was oddly adorable.

When she finally managed to pull him away, taking his hand in hers again to stop him from wandering off, she was rather surprised he didn't want to go near the carousel. He did, however, go with her into the house of mirrors and he somehow managed to escape her grip so she wound up spending nearly twenty minutes running back and forth trying to find him amongst all her distorted reflections before she eventually located him somehow trapped in one of the vents above the side mirrors. How he even got up there in the first place was beyond her.

After that exhausting trip Jane dragged him to one of the side cafes away from the main carnival and brought them lunch since it was nearly three o'clock at that point. She tried asking Gamzee what he liked but it became fairly obvious he didn't even know apart from "elixir and those fuckin' miracle pies" so she brought him a grape smoothie and three pork pies while she got herself a hot chocolate and waffles.

Like with the cotton candy he just seemed to inhale them more than anything and Jane had to stop herself from giggling; at least his table manners weren't as bad as Roxy's. After he ate the first three Jane brought him several more and made him eat them at a more sedate pace. He still sprayed crumbs everywhere and talked with his mouth full but at least he wasn't just swallowing them whole.

Though most of the day was gone Jane felt extremely relaxed, sitting with the lanky troll who was perched cross-legged on his chair as he threw back the smoothie and downed it in one gulp. He looked as lax as she felt and Jane smiled at him to which he returned the gesture, bits of grape skin caught in his teeth.

After a few more moments of companionable silence Jane eventually asked "So...how did you meet Calliope?" 

She'd heard Calliope's tale of the events, but she was curious as to how much Gamzee remembered the event, especially considering how oddly scatter brained he seemed.

Gamzee brightened at that, his pointed ears perking up as his smile became soft, "Found that lil' miracle when she was all bundled up in her candy-swirl egg and when she came cracking out it was all what the motherfuck? Miracles, is what."

"So you found her egg?"

"Yup, just all left on it's lonely lonesome inna crater, all glowing and humming and some other weird motherfucking shit then it cracked open and this fucking adorable lil' slitherbeast came squirming out," his smile grew soft, "like they didn't stay that tiny and slithery for long, grew mini paws and graspin' fronds but still fucking cute, you know? Used to be able to hold 'em in my hand," Gamzee helpfully mimed doing as such with one of his remaining pies, smile small and sweet.

_He loves her,_ at that thought Jane's final trepidation over the day vanished and on impulse she reached out with a hand and placed it over his, rubbing at the thick grey skin. 

Eventually Gamzee devoured the rest of his pies and Jane ended up feeding him one of her waffles and she managed to drag him off to see the main event which was beginning to start within the huge performing tent at the center of the carnival. Jane spent half of her time watching the circus performers and half of it watching Gamzee, his hand firmly held in her own. He was too entranced by the trapeze artists and jugglers to pay attention to anything else, his eyes completely blown wide and mouth agape. It was one most hilarious things Jane had seen, even more so when he wound up getting hit in the face with a cream pie from one of the performing clowns.

After that event Jane had to pull him into one of the bathrooms and carefully cleaned off his face, though he had eaten most of the cream off of his face by the time she had gotten around to it. He also insisted on brushing up on his facepaint, which took another ten minutes.

Eventually the sun began to dip down towards the horizon, painting the sky a deep molten gold even as the previously warm air began to steadily cool. Jane shivered as the cold started to seep into the exposed skin of her arms and she turned to Gamzee, wanting to ask him if it was time to head home.

Instead the question died on her lips when she noticed with some alarm Gamzee was no longer by her side and inwardly she cursed herself for letting go of him. It happened every time she let go of his hand, wandering off into mischief and generally scaring bystanders or falling down stairs. She was about to start yelling out his name but stopped when she noticed a goat-horned figure sitting at the end of the docks adjacent to her and Jane immediately made a beeline for him.

He was sitting right at the end of the wharf, purple sneakers hanging over the edge as he swayed back and forth. Unlike before his features were draw into a pensive frown and Jane halted a few feet away from him, unsure of what brought about this sudden change in mood. 

"Are....are you alright?" she asked cautiously, carefully sidling forward a few more steps. He didn't respond so she gingerly sat down next to him, the ruffles on her shirt swaying in the cooling breeze.

"Just thinkin'," he slowly replied, eyes half lidded as he stared out into the calm ocean, "Used to sit about waitin' for motherfucking days for the useless old goat to show up. Fucker never did though- last time he did the asshole wound up dead in front of me," he snorted, "Probably thought it was a fantastic fucking joke or some tenacious fuck up of closure or something. Useless..."

There was a deep seated bitterness in his voice and Jane winced. After a few minutes of strained silence she slowly reached out and rested her hand on his shoulder, feeling the lean muscles twitch. However he didn't shrug her off, so she counted it as a success. They remained sitting like that for a long moment before Gamzee began to grumble under his breath.

"Nah, nah, I ain't gonna be like that for the miracle lil' sugar sis," Gamzee muttered to himself, "Ain't gonna wind up dead and leave her on her lonesome. Ain't gonna do that to the tiny green strip of stardust. Yeah..." he turned to face her, so suddenly she jumped, her nails digging into his shoulder momentarily as he continued, "You ain't gonna do that are you? Fuck up something and wind up dead and make her sad and usin' her tears?"

"Calliope?" he nodded shortly, "No, I'm not going to abandon her, not after everything she's been through," Jane replied, completely caught off guard by the random change in topic, "How about you?"

"Nah, never. Fuckin' have to kill me first," Gamzee grinned, some of the seriousness seeping away from his face. Suddenly he jumped up, effortlessly hoisting her up along with him and causing her to let out a started squeak, "Ain't ever leaving that lil' green wiggler of mine alone after the first time I was forced to. Not lettin' that happen."

Jane smiled, still unsure but at least knowing Gamzee was going to stay by Calliope no matter what even if she wasn't certain what brought this concern about, "Well let's get you home then- I'm sure she's worried about you."

It was jarring sometimes how quickly Gamzee changed his moods; one moment he was pensive the next he was easily snatching her up with a broad grin on his face and suddenly he was off, sprinting down the wharf and flash-stepping out of the carnival while Jane let out a strangled scream of surprise and instinctively throwing her arms around his neck as she hung on for dear life.

The next thing she knew Gamzee skidded to a stop in front of Calliope's elegant house on the outskirts of town and Jane nearly faceplanted when Gamzee set her down on the cobblestone path, feeling completely whiplashed. He was unbelievably _fast_ , she bet he was even quicker than Dirk in flash-stepping and Jane had to gulp in several breaths of air until her nausea passed, her hair completely windswept.

"You all good?" Gamzee asked, leaning in towards her curiously as if he hadn't just bolted halfway across town with seconds and wasn't even short of breath, "Ain't getting snapped back huh?"

"What? I- how did you even...Oh let me guess, 'miracles', am I right?"

He grinned back at her, toothy and wide, "You got it, sis."

Jane smiled back, her breathing evening out even as her heartbeat gradually slowed. Gamzee continued to grin at her however and Jane felt her ears heat up and she averted her eyes from his yellow-ringed ones.

"So, um, you go and take care of Calliope alright?" Jane said, suddenly feeling ridiculously awkward, "I'm going to walk back home- I've got quite a lot I need to mull over and I don't want to clutter things up. I'll come by and visit tomorrow, perhaps?"

Gamzee blinked, his smile vanishing as he said, "You wanna come pile it up with Callie?"

"And you, if you don't mind."

He stared at her after she said that. Just stared at her with a completely blank expression on his painted face until Jane started to shift uncomfortably under his gaze, feeling as if she'd said the wrong words, "...is that alright?" she tentatively asked.

Glancing away Gamzee swallowed heavily before looking evenly back at her, "You ain't gotta pretend, I know you only went and took me to that mirthful carnival of miracles 'cause she asked you to."

Jane flinched as if he had struck her; had she been so obvious? Instantly she felt shame flush through her like hot tallow and she had to force herself not to look away from him. He deserved that much, at least.

Clearing her throat she replied evenly, "I did at first- it was a favour to Calliope and she wished for me to take you with me. However I wound up enjoying spending time with you- I would like to do some more of it in the future. Not just because Calliope wants it."

"...Huh."

He didn't respond further than that and Jane felt as if she'd blown it. Probably, being so utterly inept that she was, being so blatantly obvious it was some kind of pity date or whatever. Clearly Gamzee wasn't as oblivious as she thought. She was dragged out of her dark brooding when Gamzee surged forward and suddenly pulled her into a hug, tugging her up against his lean frame. Surprised, Jane nonetheless returned the gesture, gingerly placing her hands on his shoulder blades and tucking her head against his breastbone.

She relaxed, her previous anxiety leeching away as she remained in his embrace. Jane didn't really know what might happen in the future, but Calliope loved him and from what she'd seen today she could become friends with him soon- in fact she would say they already were. After all, he might been a teenage alien clown but she was a teenage god heiress so she wasn't one to judge. She'd just have to see what the future would hold.

Gamzee made a low rumbling noise akin to a throaty cat purr before releasing his tight grip on her and Jane reluctantly dropped her hands from his back. She expected him to step away but instead he drew back slightly before leaning down and kissing her.

It was sloppy and uncoordinated, with his fangs clacking against her front teeth as his nose smeared white paint against hers but it was still a kiss. Jane jerked slightly in surprise before pressing back against him, awkwardly shifting to the side as her glasses were knocked askew and dug into the bridge of her nose even as his rough hair nearly poked her in the eye. She tentatively mouthed at his lips and he licked at her mouth crudely and she made a strangled laugh as drool was slathered across her lips from his rough tongue.

He clumsy pulled back from her with a string of saliva and Jane giggled at his smeared facepaint, feeling some of the thick substance staining her own lips and nose. _Well, that was awkward._

"We'll work on the kissing part later," Jane grinned and caused Gamzee to let out a rasping bark of laughter.

"Ha, ain't gonna complain about it, fuckin' shit is pretty fun."

"So I'll see you two tomorrow?"

He nodded then abruptly reached up and honked her nose playfully. She yelped and swatted at him but the troll had already vanished up the winding garden path and disappeared into the house like a lanky grey ghost. With a fond sigh Jane wiped at her mouth, drool and paint smearing all over her hand. That was something they really did need to work on, but at least they now had all the time in world and Jane giggled to herself, suddenly feeling like some blushing school girl. So much for godhood.

Then Jane cocked her head to the side, saying loudly, "Calliope, I _know_ you just watched that!"

A loud squeak and a crash came from the nearest window and Jane hid a grin.

_Damn shippers._


End file.
